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Freeway Shutdown Ringleaders Caught, Police Fear Budget Cuts

 

Freeway Shutdown on 110

In what signals a worrying trend for cash-strapped police departments struggling to afford sophisticated computer-aided crime-fighting systems, a bunch of halfwits who shut down a Southern California freeway so one of them could propose to his girlfriend, posted a video of the incident to YouTube, where it went viral. It didn’t take local media long to track down Hector Martinez, the groom-to-be, who along with the future Mrs. Martinez was more than happy to be interviewed about the incident. It took only a little longer for the cops to arrest Martinez and three of his buddies on charges of misdemeanor conspicuous stupidity.

While you’d think the police would be happy that they quickly nabbed the ringleaders of the freeway shutdown, local law enforcement is secretly worried. “If criminals are so dumb they think they can post videos of themselves committing crimes to the internet and no one will catch them,” said a police spokesman who wished to remain anonymous, “then people are going to start asking themselves what’s the point of having police in the first place? How do we justify these expensive uniforms and patrol cars? And what about our public image? Remember ‘CHiPs’? How cool would that show have been if the stars had been two interns watching YouTube videos in their pajamas? Because if this keeps up, that’s your modern police force right there.”

Hector Martinez could not be reached for comment. The consensus here is that he’ll soon be hard at work on a video of himself and his fiancée lying on the beach instead of appearing for his court date.

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